Thank you to everyone who comments, emailed, or Facebook commented with Major League haiku. I have picked my two favorites.
The first winner is Patrick Hughes, for this one:
Dorn took one in eye
What’s with this ole bullshit?
You owe me forty
I mean, who doesn’t love Lou Brown? And “Come on, Dorn! Get in front of the damn ball! Don’t give me any of this ole bullshit!” is one of his finest moments. When Dorn protests that he took a groundball in the eye last year and is not about to risk his sight, Brown replies, “I’m deeply moved. Every time you play one off your hips, you owe me 40 sit-ups.” Shortly thereafter, Dorn produces his contract, which states that he doesn’t have to do any unnecessary calisthenics. Lou Browns drop the contract on the ground and urinates on it. So this haiku let me relive that great exchange for the five millionth time, which makes it a winner.
The second winner is Erik Bobbitt for this one…
They made the playoffs.
They could even win it all.
But… They’re still shitty.
I’ve always loved the ever-pessimistic grounds crew…
Thanks to all who participated. And thanks again to the fine folks at Gray & Company for donating books for the contest. And thanks also to Jonathan Knight for signing the books so they are extra cool for the winners.